Tall One
Some things in life are just out of our control and even a lot of wishing won't make it any better. My Dad's side of the family was never really close. He lost his mom to influenza when he was only nine, and he always claimed this loss was devastating to him and his younger brother. I'm sure it was. The boys were pretty much left to their own devices. Their father worked for the railroad. He was at home but in a constant struggle with the bottle, and as a result disappeared for weeks at a time leaving the pre-teen boys on their own in their Brackett Street apartment. Not good at all. As I recall, my encounters with Grampa Mike were few and usually took place on Sunday mornings. He showed up after attending Mass and was always impeccably dressed in a white shirt, tie and black suit. As he and Dad sipped Balantines, he fired questions at me, "Doing well in school? Got a girlfriend? Playing ball? Helping your mom around the house?", almost never waiting for my answer. I haven't got a lot of memories of the man, but everytime I come upon someone sippin' a Balantine or a Narragansett in a bar, I can't help but see an image flash by of him and Dad on the livingroom couch with those green bottles at the ready.
Regrets?
I've had a few.
Not being able to get to know him better is one.
Bottoms up!
Families! The dynamics among members are interesting to observe but not always comfortable. If we are smart we learn from them as you obviously have over the years. Speaking of situations "being out of our control," I'm in the 5th day of Vertigo (scary and most unpleasant), which affects my commenting. Can't control it and hoping it will end soon!
ReplyDeleteKate, I had that before. First episode very frightening and bad. It was Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo. It got better over time (not too long). No lasting effects. It's all inner ear stuff. Good luck.
DeleteElenka, thanks for the kind words. Yes, very scary! Have been under good care yet it is lasting too long for me! Hope it does not interfere with our Ireland trip in June. l Fingers crossed.
Deletedrinking certainly can change a person and tear apart families. *sigh*
ReplyDeleteFamily dynamics are a complicated thing. I have two sisters I will probably never speak to again after years of emotional abuse that led to depression. Sometimes one has to cut ties to save their own well being.
ReplyDeleteSadly, AA is one of the most rapidly growing organizations in our community.
ReplyDeleteGrandpa on my father's side was quite different, but asked the same questions, in almost the same way of yours...
ReplyDeleteOne or two dudes like that in my family as well. Liking the bottle way too much.
ReplyDeleteAll families seem to have stories like that! How sad for your dad and uncle to be left on their own when so young.
ReplyDeleteOne of my grandfathers also worked for the railroad and the other loved a tall beer.
ReplyDeleteI have distinct memories of my grandfather when I was 5 or 6 that are not all good. He was an alcoholic and I remember being asked to go tell him Sunday dinner was ready as he sat in the neighborhood bar drinking Ballantine Ale. The bar's window had the three rings of the Ballantine logo on it, and the place smelled of stale beer. My grandfather yelled at me not to bother him, and he would be up when he was ready. The old man was sad, grumpy, and demanding so don't think I miss knowing him better. It was only in the 20th Century that grandfathers commonly got to know their grandchildren because they seldom lived long enough before that.
ReplyDeletePour me one. I can be comforting.
ReplyDeleteBoth of my mother's parents died within a couple of days of her birth in the 1918 flu pandemic. She was raised by a spinster aunt and than a much older brother. (In Southampton! Uncle Bruce was the home builder to the wealthy in the 50s and 60s.) I've never fully understood the impact on her, since she died when I was 24.
I could have used one today.
ReplyDeletecoming from a totally dysfunctional family myself...hmmm,
ReplyDeletei have memories...things that happen, things i see that bring a flash of memory. a blast from the past. sadness. regrets. life goes on. sometimes i wish i didn't have some of the memories.
aaaaah. i wish it was about 8 hours from now. CHEERS. yeah, i know...it's 5:00 somewhere! well, it IS sunday. and it's mother's day. maybe a 'breakfast' drink is in order today!
have a good one!
Mimosas!
DeleteLooks perfect:)
ReplyDeleteIt is probably a memory that far too many people have about a grandparent or two.
ReplyDelete