Sunday, November 24, 2013

Out of Focus

I don't say this often, but I will right now. I can't wait until this weekend is over. 
It's still not clear at all to me, and the event is over 50 years removed.   For the last week or so our airways have been bombarded with the JFK retrospective. It's getting a bit hard to take. The politics of the time, Honey Fitz, PT 109, the Walter Cronkite broadcast, Dealey Plaza, Oswald, Jack Ruby, the pink dress, summers at the Hyannis complex, John-John and Caroline running around the Oval Office and, of course, all the conspiracy theories. Enough already. 
This is what I know. It was sometime after noon on November 22 of my Sophomore year, and I was in the library at Cheverus High looking for a book, when an announcement came on the PA system. The Principal said the President's motorcade had been shot at in Dallas, and news reports were saying that President Kennedy had been hit. We were told to say a prayer and that school was being dismissed early. I remember thinking- what is happening? As I did each day, I walked the entire length of Read Street, about a mile in length, totally confused, alone and wishing that it was all a nightmare. At the top of Read, I dreaded my cut across to Arbor Street, because I knew I'd have to pass the fire station and that flag flying atop it. I had this sick, in the pit of my stomach feeling, of what was in store for me. As soon as I could, I searched out for the flag. And there was depressingly, limp at half staff and my wishing, wondering and hoping was over. I walked in the house, and I heard the distant hum of the TV. Mom, in tears, met me in the kitchen and filled me in on the latest out of Dallas. She told me life would never be the same. And she was right again. The guys met that night, shooting baskets, playing 'Horse' in our driveway and going over the events of the day. We talked about a lot including the upcoming high school basketball season, but what we had lived through that afternoon was foremost on our minds. I fell asleep after midnight, listening to my radio and staring at the flickering light on my ceiling, trying to make sense of a senseless event. The weekend was spent mostly glued to our black and white in the living room. Yes, I saw Ruby shoot Oswald on live TV, our President lying in state, and the ever-somber news broadcasts over and over. Monday was the funeral and a day off from school. There was no excitement there. I took it all in, maybe 12-15 hours. The rider-less horse, the haunting sound of the clip-clop of the horse's hooves on pavement, the ever-strong, black-clad dignified, stoic Jackie and John-John's salute.
It was a weekend that changed us all in ways we can't even begin to comprehend.
That 50 years have passed from that afternoon is mind-boggling to me.
I lived through it.
Even now 50 years removed, the replay is difficult to watch.
Still out of focus---
Life moves forward though.
But some memories are still tough to take.




12 comments:

  1. I agree Birdman, its good to remember and mourn the day, but over and over is too much..

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  2. I agree it has been overplayed, but I wanted or needed to watch at least one run-through of it. 50 years? How can that be possible when it's all still 'live' right there before us?

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  3. now, imagine being in the dallas area with every news broadcast for weeks leading up to the commemorations...

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  4. Wow, we had very similar experiences. I was also at school, I also saw the Ruby shooting and the funeral. Mostly, I also felt that sick feeling that everything had changed. I watched some of the shows on Friday night but, kept it off all day Saturday. One evening reviewing those feelings was enough.

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  5. I remember all those things too but have to admit that we turned on a special about 50 years of Dr Who after seeing too much about Dallas. Awful times it was.

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  6. My experiences of that Friday were similar, as were the sad emotions and feeling that major change had happened. A Chinese curse is, "May you live in interesting times." This is a perfect example. The assassinations that followed seemed a continuation of the same nightmare. Stood about two feet from Robert Kennedy the day before he as assassinated.

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  7. My memory is mostly from news reports after the fact. I was only five at the time of the shooting.

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  8. That's a beautiful, poignant essay. I've had enough of the media bludgeoning me with the memories, too. And I can remember sitting in class during my freshman year at Fordham Prep in The Bronx, when Fr. O'Brien, the headmaster, came on the PA twice. Once to announce the shooting, once to confirm the death. We were dismissed. I took the subway back home to Queens, not understanding what happened. I guess I still don't.

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  9. Here in Germany we also heard a lot about JFK over the past weeks. I think the media will be moving on now though.
    I wasn't alive when it all happened, but I think it's hard to understand how such a serious case was never really totally "solved". I wonder if we'll ever know what happened.

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  10. I was too young for Kennedy, but I feel the same about september, 11th..

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  11. Yes, the coverage was continual for a week, and I, too, could have done without the blizzard of words and images. At the time, I was attending the Univ. of MN, had returned home to catch a nap before studying and meeting my husband before dinner. A classmate called me, I attempted to contact my husband who was working at 3M at the time, but all lines were down. No communication. I met him later and he and I and his colleagues spent the evening watching the news. At the time we lived in a duplex. The woman next door loudly wailed and wept during the entire week with the TV images playing in the background. I found solace in the sanctuary of churches. It was a terrible time.

    I did not enjoy the overwhelming coverage of the 50th anniversary of the assassination.

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  12. That pretty much hit the nail on the head for me- I didn't watch any of the JFK memorials, etc... whenever I saw Kennedy I got blown away- but if I had to describe it, I'd link here.

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